Tis The Season..

I know this is going to sound cliche, but Christmas is definitely my favorite time of year. At this very moment I'm sitting in the living room next to the Christmas tree (which actually looks good for once unlike the Charlie Brown tree we had last year) and soaking up the delicious smells that only real Christmas trees can make. My mom is in the kitchen cooking gingerbread men and cussing them because their arms or legs or heads keep falling off and I'm the lucky one who gets to eat the ones that look more like sumo wrestlers or lumpy snowballs. 

So here I sit. Eating deformed gingerbread cookies while Becky is doing Tae Bo and trying to make me feel guilty because I chose to eat cookies instead of workout. I still think I chose the better way. But as I'm sitting here I can't help but think of my favorite Christmas memories.

Before I left Pocatello for my LONG holiday break my visiting teachers came and gave my roommate and I a Christmas lesson. When they were done they asked us if we had any favorite Christmas stories we wanted to share. My mom tells us the story of the Buttercup Christmas every Christmas Eve so I decided I would tell that story. But when I started to tell it I realized I don't have a clue how it goes! All I know is that there is a cow named Buttercup in it and two little boys. And that it's a true story from someone that used to live in Dayton when my mom was a little girl. 

So obviously I'm bad at paying attention, because I should really be able to tell that story by now, but my favorite stories aren't the ones that other people tell. My favorite stories are the ones from my own life. I remember one year my parents had NO money because my sister Emmalee was getting a major surgery two days after Christmas and it was going to cost a lot of money. My mom had already told me that there wouldn't be much money for any Christmas presents, and sadly I have to admit that I had a bad attitude about it. 

On Christmas morning I slept in longer than I ever had on Christmas, because if there weren't going to be any presents I wasn't going to get excited about anything. Then my sisters came and woke me up and we went down stairs and there were PRESENTS there! I was so surprised because my mom had specifically told me there wouldn't be any money for that sort of thing this year. But without really thinking twice about it I opened my presents and thanked my parents.

Later that day though, I got the best present of all. I was helping my mom with dinner and I mentioned something about how surprised I had been to see all of the presents that morning. She then got a serious look on her face and told me that she hadn't bought the presents. My sister had felt guilty that we weren't going to have any Christmas presents because of her surgery, so she had bought most of my presents. She didn't want me to know, but she taught me an important lesson that year.

We've never had a lot of money to spend on presents in my family. In fact most of my friends usually end up with at least one present out of the many they received that year that costs more than all of my presents combined. But that year I learned that presents aren't what matter on Christmas. The important thing is that I get to be with people that love me on the most special day of the year.  Emmalee didn't just give me presents that year, she gave me the gift of love-and you can't put a price on that.

One of my favorite Christmas stories is How the Grinch Stole Christmas by Dr. Seuss. After the Grinch has stolen all of the Whos presents and happy little Christmas things and is about to throw them off a cliff, he hears the Whos singing! The nerve of the Whos to sing when they don't have any presents!

"And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so? It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. And he puzzled and puzzled ’till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn’t come from a store. What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more."

Christmas isn't about what we get. Christmas is about what we give. It's about the love that we share and the acts of service that are selflessly given. It's about the spirit that comes to all of us when for one day out of the year we spend more time thinking about others than ourselves. It's about the memories we make.  And the best presents I've ever received didn't come from a store. So Merry Christmas to everyone, and may we all remember what the Grinch learned on that Christmas morning in Whoville. "What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. What if Christmas, perhaps, MEANS A LITTLE BIT MORE." MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Back To Blogging...

So obviously I slacked on my 30 day blog challenge. Writing a blog ended up causing me way more drama than I had ever anticipated. There are some things I expected from writing a blog. Gratitude from those people who have been wondering what has been happening in my life and finally have a way of knowing? Yes. Admiration for my ability to write and express myself? Yes (and I realize that sounds a little shallow...but what everyone else needs to realize is I already know that. I like to call it sarcasm.) But did I ever expect drama over the things or the people that I do or don't talk about in my blog? No. I can't say I ever saw that one coming.

Well, after the first few weeks of blogging I decided it was causing me more stress than enjoyment and gave it up, but now I'm really just to the point that I don't care anymore. I started to notice that some people actually did care what I was doing, and they actually noticed when I stopped blogging. I have one friend who I guess you could say I've fallen out of touch with. Don't get me wrong I still love the girl to death but over the past couple years we haven't been very good at communicating. Anyways, the girl actually called me to make sure I was ok because she got worried when I hadn't blogged in a week!

I realize it sounds stupid, but that's what I needed to hear. I know there aren't a lot of people who read my blog, and I really don't care about that. What I do care about, is that there was somebody reading my blog who cared more about me than about what I was writing in it.

My brother started writing a blog a few weeks ago, and at the end of his first post he apologized to his family because "we don't really know him." That reminded me of the reason I started writing in the first place. There aren't a lot of people that I would say REALLY know me. Sure, there are lots of people who think they do, but the sad truth is I've become a way better actor over the years then you'd think.

Some people would say I'm conceited, because heaven forbid I like to talk about myself. But to be honest, most of the things I say that sound conceited are said by a girl who is just trying to convince herself that maybe some of those things are true.

Some people would tell you I'm over-the-top competitive, and I'll admit that I do like to compete, but what they don't know is that the reason I'm always pushing myself so hard is because if I push hard enough sometimes the physical pain it causes me is enough to take my mind off of the pain and the guilt I'm already feeling. Guilt over things I've done, guilt over the things I wasn't brave enough to do.

Anyways, you're probably wondering where I'm going with this, and I swear it does have a point. The point is that I wanted to thank those people who have taken the time and the effort to get to know me. I realize that sometimes the reason people don't get to know me is because I don't let them in, but most of the time the reason people don't know me is because they don't try very hard.

So thanks to those people who have made it a priority to get to know me. Thanks to the people who call, text, or talk to me because they are honestly interested in how I am and what I'm doing. Thanks to those people who will instigate a conversation, instead of waiting for me to do it all the time. Thanks to the people who notice when I'm down and who care enough to ask why. Christmas is the season of giving, and those people have given me more than I ever even wished for.

Blog Challenge Day 13

Day 13- A Letter To Someone Who Has Hurt You Recently

This isn't really easy for me to do, because I really don't get "hurt." I can get really annoyed sometimes, but as far as getting offended and holding grudges, that's really not me. So here goes my best try on this letter thing...

To the people who enjoy raining on my parade: I'm well aware that 90% of the things I talk about doing are not humanly possible. I also realize that most things that happen in movies and on TV shows, wouldn't really happen in real life. But is it wrong that I still enjoy watching a movie where everyone is happy and life goes right all of the time? Or that I like imagining how cool life could be if I could really pull off all of that stuff I think about doing? No. It's not wrong. It's not hurting any of you. So please, for your own sake, stop raining on my parade before I snap. Cuz that ain't pretty. 

To the people who have used me: Congratulations. You have successfully managed to fool me into trusting you. I'll admit that in the past I would easily trust people. I guess I just have a habit of believing in the best in people. But you were especially good. You we able to lure me into your little trap, and trick me into confiding in you and sharing times with you that I thought would end up being a special memory. And in the end all I was left with was emptiness. Time wasted with someone that I thought was special. Someone who I thought could be trusted. But it turns out that the trick is on you, because I don't trust people that easily anymore. And when it comes to you, you lost your chance. Sure I can forgive you, and to be honest I already have. But just because I've forgiven you, doesn't mean I will ever have to trust you again. 

To the people who have built themselves up by tearing me down: I bet you think you're pretty special. You managed to make yourself feel good by walking over me. You got the best of me and then left me there to deal with the what I was left with. Well, once again, the joke is on you. You may think that by walking over me you were getting yourself somewhere, but the truth is, every time you've tried to tear me down, all you've succeeded in doing is making me stronger. 

And last but definitely not least...

To the people who have pretended to be my friend:  You may think that because I'm only 20-that because I'm not as old as you or don't have as much "life experience" as you do that I don't know what a friend is. You may think that I don't notice the way you use me when it is most convenient for you, because I smile and agree with you and do whatever you ask me to do. You may think that I think you are a good friend. But the truth is, I notice it all. I notice when you use me. I notice when you talk about me behind my back but still act like you're the world's best friend to my face. I notice when you pick up your phone and look through your contacts, wishing you were spending time with somebody else. I notice when the only time you ever want to hang out, is when you can't find something better to do.

In all honesty, the prize goes to you, because out of everybody you're the one who has hurt me the most. You are the one I really cared about, and for awhile, I honestly believed that you cared too.  But I've got news for you. There are people that have taught me what a real friend is supposed to be. I've got people who honestly care about me, the things I do, and are more worried about my well being than they are about their own agenda. So I'm sorry. I'm sorry I wasted so much time trying to turn you into the friend I hoped you would be. I'm sorry I spent so much time doing things for you even when I knew the only reason you asked is because you knew I was the only one who would do it. I'm sorry I let you use me and gave you so much trust. And I'm sorry I can't be there for you anymore. Because being your friend has been a mistake. I guess it's true though, you can't change people...and thank heavens for that, because I would have been devastated if you would've succeeded in your plot to change me.

Blog Challenge Day 12

Day 12- How You Found Out About Blogs and Why You Made One

I'm pretty sure I found out about blogs the same way everybody else does. I have a few friends and family members that have blogs and after reading theirs for awhile, I decided I would get one too.

I got a blog because I really like to write. I've always enjoyed writing-well, at least when I was writing about a topic of my choice (I can't say I ever liked being forced to write papers in English)-and I've also always enjoyed talking about myself, so this just seemed like a win-win situation for me.

Also, I used to be really good at calling people. I would call or text people at LEAST once a week and I would get all caught up on their lives and they would get caught up on mine, but this year I've really starting slacking on that. Keeping in touch with everyone I need to has become much more difficult than it used to be, so I made this blog so that if they wanted to know what I was doing, they could find out.

Blog Challenge Day 11

Day 11- Another Picture of You and Your Friends

Well, seeing as how day 3 of this blog challenge was ALSO a picture of me and my friends and I already went through and said how awesome they all are, I'll just let the pictures do the talking this time. I love all of you guys, and seeing as how Thanksgiving is around the corner, just know I am thankful for every single one of you in my life. Thanks for everything!

People wish they were this cool...

We graduated...surprisingly enough:)

 We go ice skating...

We go to HUGE bonfires (this picture doesn't give it much credit)...

 We go jeeping in 100 yr old vehicles without doors and cook man food in the wilderness (over fires we start by ourselves)...

We go to restaurants even when we look like butt...

 We go sledding in huge death tubes...

 We make our own clothing...

We float down icy rivers with scary rapids and waterfalls...

And we hang like monkeys from tractors at random tractor stores on Garret Drive.

Like I said...people WISH they were as cool as us.

What would you do for...a friend like that?

I know I already blogged today, but being the no-life-on-sundays kinda girl that I am I decided I would get back on blogspot and do a little blog stalking. What I found was that my best friend got in a car accident yesterday and could have been seriously injured or worse...

She wrote me something on facebook a little earlier that said something like, "I got in an accident so you should be grateful that I'm still alive and come hang out with me on Tuesday." And to be honest when I read that my first thought was, "Yeah, ok Kelsey. Sure you got in a car accident. Kinda like the time you high centered your car on the curb when we were spinning cookies in the school parking lot. Nice try on the guilt trip though."

That was my exact thought, so you can probably imagine what a jerk I felt like when I was reading her blog tonight and discovered that she actually was in a legitimate car wreck. Don't fret, she's ok. But as I was reading her post about what happened I couldn't help but imagine what COULD'VE happened....and it scared me to death.

I met Kelsey when I was 4 years old. She lived right across the street from me and she would stand in her front yard and yell at me until I would come over and play. We were together almost every single day until the horrible day when her family moved to Weston. I remember looking at her empty house after she moved and thinking my life was over.

Luckily though, life still went on, and I still got to spend quite a bit of time with her. We founded clubs together, pretended we were animals for almost a good year of our lives, thought we were going to create an animal shelter when we grew up, got banned from almost every game we played (even the ones we made up) because we played too rough, and so much more.

She taught me about the birds and the bees! She has a laugh that lights up a whole room. She's the kind of friend that I could tell anything to, but we could also spend three hours together and not say a word and still know that everything is ok. She has been there with me through the worst moments of my life, and she's been there through the best moments too.

Every single time I wanted to do something stupid or wreckless in high school, she was by my side. And when I was feeling lazy, she would hang out with me and eat cold cereal, even though she probably wished we could do something fun and exciting instead.

When my Grandma died on my 17th birthday, she let me cry into her shoulder while her and Shayla were TRYING to throw me a party. She has been more of an example to me than she will ever even know. She knows me better than I know myself, but she still loves me anyways! She is more like me than anyone else I know, and even though we've gone our separate ways, we have never grown apart.

She texted me the other night at like 11:00 and randomly asked me if I would come to her wedding if "she ever gets married." First off, Kelsey, don't be such a dummy. OF COURSE you will get married! You're a catch! Any guy would be lucky to have you. And secondly, just try and stop me from coming;)

As much as I hate to think about this, one day there will be a time when I will have to watch you marry someone who has become your NEW best friend, but I'll be happy on that day. I'll be happy that you're happy. I feel so blessed that when I was four years old I met someone who defined what a friend is supposed to be.

We promised when we were 4 that we would be best friends forever. And I just want you to know that I am so thankful for you in my life. I'm glad you're ok. And tell Brian I said thanks.  It takes a special guy to be able to calm you down in a crisis...especially one where you lose a favorite accessory:)

 

Blog Challenge Day 10

Day 10- Songs You Listen To When You Are Bored, Happy, Sad, Mad, Hyped...

First off, I love music! There is a quote I heard once that said, "My favorite song will tell you more about me that my mouth ever could," which for me would be a lie because my mouth will pretty much tell you exactly what I think and why, but I still like this quote anyways. Anyone who has been reading this blog would notice that pretty much every post I've written, besides the blog challenge days, have been inspired by a song. Music inspires me to do so many different things, and I've always been the kind of person that listens to music that compliments my current mood.

So here goes...

Songs I listen to when I'm BORED....

Linkin Park- What I've Done

Weather Girls- It's Raining Men

Blue October- Quiet Mind

Switchfoot- Twenty-four

Flyleaf- There For You

Rise Against- Swing Life Away

Beck- Loser

Johnny Preston- Running Bear

Wallflowers- One Headlight

Dynamite Hack- Boyz In The Hood

Songs I listen to when I'm HAPPY...

Five For Fighting- 100 Years

Beach Boys- Wouldn't It Be Nice

Tim McGraw- When The Stars Go Blue

Coldplay- Viva la Vida

Quietdrive- Time After Time

Keane- Somewhere Only We Know

Lady Antebellum- Perfect Day

Paramore- The Only Exception

Eric Clapton- More Than Words

New Found Glory- Kiss Me

The Darkness- I Believe in a Thing Called Love

Songs I listen to when I'm SAD...

Red Jumpsuit Apparatus- Your Guardian Angel

Jason Wade- You Belong To Me

Secondhand Serenade- Why

Taylor Swift- White Horse

Taylor Swift- Untouchable

Micheal Buble- Lost

Saliva- Rest in Pieces

Silverstein- Call in Karma

Senses Fail- The Priest and the Matador

My Chemical Romance- I Don't Love You

Coldplay- Fix You

Dashboard Confessional- The Best Deceptions

Songs I listen to when I'm MAD....

Breaking Benjamin- You Fight Me

Emery- Walls

Breaking Benjamin- Until The End

Timbaland- Time

Three Days Grace- I Hate Everything About You

Linkin Park- Hit The Floor

Avril Lavigne- Forgotten

All American Rejects- Night Drive

Chevelle- I Get It

Jimmy Eat World- Bleed American

Mayday Parade- Anywhere But Here

Songs I listen to when I'm HYPED...

Kesha- We R Who We R

Katy Perry- Teenage Dream

Blur- Song 2 (Woohoo)

Sean Kingston- Fire Burning

Lil Jon & LMFAO- Outta Your Mind

B.O.B- Magic

Far East Movement- Like A G6

Usher- Hot Tottie

Rihanna- Don't Stop The Music

Timbaland- Bounce

Flo Rida- Club Can't Handle Me

Ying Yang Twins- Drop (Edited-don't try to listen to the unedited version of this)