Blog Challenge Day 4

Day 4- A HABIT YOU WISH YOU DIDN'T HAVE

Hmm. I don't like today's prompt, because there are so many habits that I wish I didn't have but for some reason they are still hanging around.  I wish I could say the one habit I wish I didn't have was biting my nails or eating when I'm depressed or something simple like that, but my bad habits aren't that typical. Mine go a little deeper.

I turn everything I do into a competition, whether it's against myself or somebody else. I can make a judgment about a person I don't even know with nothing more to go on than just the quick glance I take while I'm walking past them on the sidewalk.  I am way too critical of myself and nothing I do is ever good enough to please the voice in the back of my head. And the list could go on forever.

By now you're probably thinking what a terrible person I am, and I wouldn't blame you. I never said I was perfect, in fact I'm not even close, but if there was one thing I wish I could change about myself I think it would be my need for attention.

I have always had a love of attention. Even when I was just a tiny little kid I would ruin my family's talent show acts and while they were up singing happy little songs to the community, I would be running through the aisles, probably half-naked, screaming my lungs out and soaking up all of the attention I was getting. And even to this day, though I manage to keep my clothes on like 99% of the time, I am STILL an attention hog.

What's so bad about this? Let me tell you. I can't count the number of times that I have been talking with a group of friends and I can't help but open my mouth every five seconds to tell story after story after story....usually interrupting somebody right in the middle of their own story. I hate this about myself.

I have missed out on so many opportunities to learn about somebody else's day, or week, or life story because I was too busy making sure they knew mine first. I guess I can lump being selfish into this bad habit too, because in reality that's really what I'm being. Selfish.

I value somebody who is a good listener, in fact its one of my favorite qualities in a person, but even though I spend so much time thinking about how much I love it when people listen to me, I am terrible at doing that simple deed for somebody else. Somebody who probably needs a listening ear much more than I did in the first place.

I really don't know how people can stand to put up with me, because I'm sure this insatiable need for attention can really wear on people's nerves after awhile, but for some reason there are people that are still willing to hang out with me. So thanks to those people, my family and friends, that love me even though I am so imperfect and selfish. They could probably tell you my faults better than I can, but they would never do that because they are all better than me. Every single one of them is. So thanks for not giving up on me, and hopefully someday I'll be as good as the rest of you are!